Let the Judging Begin!

There are many women who talk, write and blog about motherhood these days and how difficult it is, as if it was previously taboo to admit. But I still think many mums judge each other on their parenting abilities, how they've dressed their child and the level of makeup they've put on to pick their child up from school. In a few years time I'm sure I'll be doing the school run with a bare face and wearing saggy-bum trackies from Kmart.

I'm just going to put it out there and admit that I might say I don't give a wahzoo about what other people think... but the truth is I often do. I sometimes need other people's approval to feel good about myself. There, I said it. My name is Lacey and I am an I-care-what-other-people-think-of-me-aholic. 

The things that people may judge me for have changed since becoming a mum and now there's a little mini-me in the equation, perhaps I care even more? Well it's now my mission to try to care less and tell people to stick their opinions up their bum. And to remember to say these things in my head, not aloud (I don't grow my nails any longer than about 2mm these days, to avoid unnecessary poo situations, so I don't think I'd do very well in a cat fight).

But I'll admit I'm also not perfect in the judging-others department either. Only this week I saw one of the mum's pull up at our Baby Sensory class in a BMW 4WD and immediately thought we probably wouldn't become friends. Not because of the BMW. I just presumed that someone who has enough money to waste on such an elaborate motor vehicle wouldn't get my bogan, often distasteful sense of humour, nor would they approve of my 2009 scuffed up (by me) Subaru Impreza. 

Someone who I know for sure doesn't give a rats is my good friend and fellow mumma bear, Ally. This self-professed hippy gave birth to the forever adorable Mali six months ago and is quite possibly the most anti-caring-about-what-other-people-think advocate I know... and I think it's just aces.
 

The gorgeous Mali living life in the fast lane

She's a proud breast feeder, is into attachment parenting, co-sleeping and is just starting Mali on baby led weaning (fellow mummas, don't be embarrassed if you have to Google what the hell this means... So did I). And Ally's not just doing all of these things because a doctor told her to or because it's the latest parenting craze. She's made these choices because she's done her research and it's what works best for her and her chubba bubba. 

Attention fellow approval seekers - we can all take a page from Ally's book and flip someone the bird if they're staring at you for breastfeeding your bub at a coffee shop. This is her baby, she's going to raise her however she damn well pleases and if you have a problem with that, be prepared to cop some colourful language repeatedly featuring the 'c' word. 

I have come up with my own style for raising my Addison and it's called "wing it and see" parenting. Here's how it works:

 1. Try anything other than shaking your baby to sleep i.e dummies, out of pitch singing, rocking, pacing the hallway 378 times, etc. (Sorry Tizzie, but my way is going to save my sleep in more ways than your book suggested).

2. Try breastfeeding. If it doesn't work out or you wish to stop for whatever reason (and your reasons are yours and yours alone... yours yours YOURS!), don't reach for the tissues. Simply go to Coles and buy a can of formula. Happy, nourished baby - tick!

3. Don't be embarassed to spend all day in your pjs. They're comfy, smell like your baby's delicious head and when answering the door the person on the other side is only going to be jealous. 

4. Take any and all advice given to you from people you don't know and write each one down on a seperate piece of paper. Now you will probably need a full ream of A4 because a bunch of nosy people felt it their right to give advice to a hormonal, pregnant stranger. Scrunch up all the paper and throw into the recycling bin. Or if you have a fireplace, save it for perfectly good kindling come Winter time.

So there you have it, parenting should not be textbook. If it was all babies would be the same and some scientist or doctor would have found a 'cure' for colic, general fussiness and screaming for no obvious reason. 

Although I'm not very far into my journey of motherhood, one piece of advice I will give to new parents is this - if your baby is fed, sleeps wherever and whenever you can get it to and cries just shy of the amount it would take your neighbours to call DOCS, you're doing just fine. 

Hug those little buggers to an inch of their life and sniff their heads 'till you're dizzy. And enjoy this time, it goes WAY to fast!

L xx