Solicit This!

Since becoming a mum I've come to appreciate the little things in life - a warm cuppa, a cool shower on a sticky, spewed-up-on-seven-times day and you all know I'm an addict for smelling my daughter's head.

But I've also discovered the things that piss me right off eg. hoons racing up the street, losers walking straight in front of my moving pram and the scums of the earth: door-to-door solicitors. I don't care whether you're selling roof tile cleaning or raising money for children in Africa - back the eff away from my front door and bugger off. 

Now please please PLEASE don't think I'm an insensitive asshole and don't care about the poor African children because I do, maybe even more so since having my own bubba. But I'm also on maternity leave, have extra expenses such as formula, nappies, wipes, etc so am on a limited budget which at the current time does not include charity donations. 

So on Monday about 11am Addi and I are having our usual 'sleep fight' in her bedroom. She's wrapped up, armed with her dummy and had gradually stopped kicking and wriggling, slowly on her way off to the land of nod.... Then there's a knock at the door. 

I was feeling curious as to whether it could be a delivery man with a parcel (has my online shopping addiction become so bad that I've bought something and forgotten about it?!) or some tool trying to sell me something. Well on Monday it was the latter. And to say I was annoyed was a massive understatement. 

This lil face gets me through the day!

While juggling Addi in one arm, trying to open fort nox with the other and shooing Kali out of the way with my right foot, I opened the door to discover 2 young lads wearing printed t-shirts displaying their charity's logo and carrying clip boards.

Great. Just effing perfect. 

So the conversation went like this:

Them: hi there, how are you going?

Me: hey guys. Look I don't have time right now, I'm trying to put my baby to sleep.

Them: OK no worries. We'll come back in about an hour.

Me: look I'd rather you didn't because you'll wake the dog which will wake the baby and she's very tired.

Them: well we're just trying to raise money for kids with disabilities... 

*I cut him off*

Me: LISTEN HERE YOU INSENSITIVE LITTLE RUNT. I HAVE MY OWN INFANT TO WORRY ABOUT SO. BACK. THE. EFF. OFF!!!!!

Ok I didn't actually say that. No, in fact I stooped a little lower:

Me: look she's really sick so I don't have time, thanks. *Shuts the door*

Yes, that's right. I used my child as an excuse to avoid annoying sales boys. And I weirdly said 'thanks' at the end... What the hell was that about?! Yes thank you boys for harassing me while I wrestle my little minion to sleep... While catching me in my spewed-up-on pajamas... And hair in complete disarray. 

It was one of those George Costanza situations where as soon as the interaction ceases you think of THE PERFECT response and then you obsess about it for the rest of the day. 

How was everyone else's week?

L xx